You thought after the first quarter they were going to win didn’t you?! Hahaha! Losers always find a way to lose. Last Friday night was yet another fine example of horrible coaching. Bomber fans were pretty damn pissed off the whole week and you know who they blamed?
“I just don’t know what went wrong. My strategy was fool proof. I was sure Edmonton would score on themselves in overtime.”
Edmonton tied the game with 23 seconds left and what how did little Timmy react?
Until Friday I had been giving Tim the benefit of the doubt thinking he’d been dealt a shitty team by a shitty GM. Boy was I wrong! He’s just an idiot!
Remember that time last year in the Banjo Bowl at the end of the game when he found a way to lose? For those of you who’ve blocked it from memory, the Bombers were leading by a rouge late in the game and with less than a minute left were in position to try a long field goal which would have forced the Riders to score a TD with their ensuing possession. Instead Tim decided to punt for the coffin corner. The punt sailed through the end zone giving the Riders comparatively excellent field position. Drew Willy then marched the field and this happened:
Most people were saying, “Well he’s a rookie head coach in his second game. We’ll give him another chance.”
He did it again Friday! Instead of going for the win he tried to avoid the loss and ended up losing. There were 23 seconds left on the clock. All the Bombers needed was a kick through the end zone.
Anyone who watched the Sunday night game (BC @ Saskatchewan) would have seen what happens all the time in the CFL with the clock running out. After Saskatchewan tied the game late with less than a minute left the Lions promptly marched back into FG range and kicked the winner as time expired.
Or how about that time Milt Stegall won it on a hail marry?
Tim Burke took a fucking knee instead. It’s a good thing he didn’t try anything crazy. He’s incompetent and has signed his own death warrant.
See, his signature’s right there. Who’s got the rope?
He’s also a liar. He publicly stated that Boltus would be sent in if Hall should come out due to injury.
Well Hall got hurt (apparently not too hurt to jump for an overthrown ball on the sideline) and who did he decide to throw in? The new shittiest QB on the team, Justin Goltz, because he’s a proven clutch performer. Justin threw a bunch of balls into he turf like we all knew he would (except Tim) and the rest is in the books.
The Blue Bumblers are already the whipping boys of the CFL but he’s lengthened the lash considerably and may be the first coach in CFL history to have inspired an Internet meme. Here’s a sampling of some of the best post game tweets:
When push comes to shove, take a knee -Tim Burke
— Jeffe (@jhamps89) September 21, 2013
After a devastating loss, #Bombers HC Tim Burke knew a motivational speech was required. "Gather 'round boys," he began, "and TAKE A KNEE!!"
— randy turner (@randyturner15) September 21, 2013
Tweet of the night. Ask Tim Burke. “@Dick_Wicked: @RossRomaniuk @adamtreusch How many ways are there to score off your knee?” #fireburke
— Ross Romaniuk (@RossRomaniuk) September 21, 2013
I love the smell of capitulation in the morning. #timburkewisdom
— Bartley Kives (@bkives) September 21, 2013
Her Majesty even chimed in and offered her solution to the problem:
The Queen, like everyone else, is done handing out second chances.
“But Blue Bastard, firing the head coach mid season is a recipe for disaster!”
Oh because the Bombers are making the playoffs? The season is lost. Just quench the collective blood lust and fire him. He’s gone at the end of the year anyway, what difference does it make? They haven’t fired anyone in weeks and things are boring in Bomberville. Fire Goltz too. I can’t believe he got another chance to throw the game away. Disgraceful.
Absolute Vodka Ass of the Week: Tim Burke
Do you know what this is? This is an asshole. Just like Tim Burke.
Hee Haw!
Heineken Hero of the First Quarter: Max Hall
For 15 minuets he looked almost godlike. What happened in the second remains a mystery although the offensive line almost certainly had something to do with it. Is the QB carousel shutting down for the season? Please say it is so!
The Wrath of Buck?
In the year 2000 the Bombers began the season with a starting QB named Kerwin Bell. He was a football monstrosity and universally despised by football fans and sweet old ladies alike. By mid season calls for his swift dismissal by fans were answered when the club released him and promoted someone by the name of Khari Jones (whose cro-magnon forehead would almost go on to win the 2001 Grey Cup) to take his place. Bell was promptly signed by Toronto and a few days later returned to Winnipeg where he had the last laugh by beating his replacement and the team that dumped him 24-12. I remember it well.
On a still night at the site of old Winnipeg Stadium you can still hear the echos of “KerrrrrrrrWINNNNN!”
This week another QB cast off returns to River City having been shoved out of town mid season. While Buck won’t be starting it is quite likely he will play at least some.
Will his first hand knowledge of the Bomber’s defence give the Lions the edge they need to win? Probably not, the Bombers are so bad you don’t need insider information to beat them.
Will he be booed? Unlikley, hated on the field by the end, loved off.
Will the Bombers win? Depends on how many knees are taken.
Tune in next week for another rant, same Blue Bastard time, same Blue Bastard Blog.
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