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Football’s back! Grab a case and strap in. There are 21 regular season and three playoff weeks ahead!
Those doubting my prowess need only look back at 2019 and 2021. I missed the tri-fecta in 2022 by a blocked field goal! Clearly I have a gift for prediction. Those whom ignore my prophetic words are doomed to a peasant’s life of subsistence.
East
Mediocrity in the East is as perennial as a spring tulip. However, as has been demonstrated time and time again, all you need to do is get to the big game. There shall be no cross-over in 2023 as in the previous two seasons.
Toronto (11-7)
Chad Kelly my ass! A fluke. However, Dinwiddie is clearly a far better coach than QB.
Hamilton (9-9)
A much better team with BLM. But there’s still something wrong with his arm…
Ottawa (7-11)
If Masoli stays healthy for 12 out of 18 games, they should be able to win at least 7 of those. That would be a massive improvement.
Montreal (6-12)
This team is stacked with loser has-beens. I don’t forsee it playing out well for them this season.
West
Be it the Yellowhead or the Trans-Canada, all highways from out West to Hamilton run through Winnipeg.
Winnipeg (14-4)
Winnipeg is mostly the same team (with a kicker this year). So what’s stopping them from winning another Grey Cup? Age. Perhaps this crew has peaked.
BC (12-6)
Once again, the league’s most deadly receiving corps. Expect Adams to go deep and then deep. This will be the most exciting offence to watch!
Calgary (11-7)
Jake Maier isn’t BLM. The Stamps still aren’t what they were.
Saskatchewan (7-11)
With Craig Dickenson there will only be cold winters and disappointment. Without Craig Dickenson there will only be cold winters.
Edmonton (4-14)
Chooo-chooo! All aboard!
Playoffs
East Semi
Hamilton handles Ottawa at home.
West Semi
BC rips 400 yards in the air to blow Calgary out.
East Final
Hamilton upsets Toronto at home in an upset reminiscent of 2021.
West Final
BC’s air game is nullified and Adam does not run through Winnipeg’s D-line. The Bombers squeak it out narrowly.
Grey Cup
BLM can’t throw (see above). The Bombers steal it again and Hamilton burns!
Week 1 Picks
Calgary over BC – Calgary at home is usually safe.
Winnipeg over Hamilton – Too much angst for the Bombers to drop their home opener.
Ottawa over Montreal – I’m not sure when I’ll actually pick Montreal to win.
Saskatchewan over Edmonton – Same can be said about Edmonton.
See you in Hamilton in November!
bbbbllllllLLLUUUUUUEEEEE!!!!!!